Doggie

Old ladies making old ladies cry

She is my freakin hero...!~

A follow up of a previous entry. When they said "instruction", that's what I was expecting. Turns out she is quite sensitive and cooperative with a "stress relief" method and a positive, free way of thinking.

I can't absorb all the details (will report my heart out here when ready.)< because I'm still so amazed, but there's one thing that really sticks out from the entire program. Each instructor, at the end of the program, gives a final message. This isn't the entire thing, but this is the gist of it: "I love myself .... everyone, please love yourselves as well."

I went crazy.

"What the...?! Why?" Why did she say this?! And all of a sudden?!

It's like I loved her more. No, I was completely touched, maybe abnormally so. I nearly cried like I watched a Disney death scene or the like because I could not believe it. I wanted to bury my face into a chest; apparently hugging is a little outrageous in Japan but I felt that way.

I was shocked and touched because not just what she said was right but because it's was a total coincidence with my recent feelings, and I have trouble following such a message. it was a completely simple message.

For the past two weeks, I was just upset with myself. Even as I type, I still kind of am. Not AS much as before, but still confused. I took time off work and it's like I became more upset admist relaxing (or I was supposed to). I wanted to quit my job too because I couldn't get over the idea that I was where I was now due to being incompetent and poor, and I couldn't brainstorm over how to fix it. I'm ambitious, but am I working to hard for a low wage? Am I caring too much? In fact, I have a notice template saved on word document if I came to the point that I wanted to leave work. So, I had those kind of black thoughts.

I told myself that there can be a light at the end of the tunnel, believe in oneself, etc.

Despite that, I was not self-satisfied. I was still broke, and you can see more in my locked "Doggie story" entries. No need to talk about it again. So why does this still gather above my head to bother me? Because I feel like I'm not sharp enough to find a solution. Is it friends/social interaction? Is it patience?

So when I saw that message, I was unexpectedly filled with emotion. I still thought "how", at the same time, I was deeply touched and surprised. It could've been anyone else who said it, but I was overwhelmed this time.

And for some reason, I felt an underlying dread that something was going to happen to her.

Way too incredible. Set in France.