I am selfish...lost....

[doggiedynasty]

Ask YOUNG LINK: Never stop trying

An actress? A novelist? A hero? A manager? A game designer?

I'm still frustrated at the babysitting, and this thought occurred to me -- I am not aiming. The more I think about it, the more I feel I am just putting myself in one place most of the time, and being stuck 10 years behind. Someone with so much ambition, is easily inspired with a will to live, shouldn't have to work with so little result.

I'm often behind and I keep asking where I should go. Like I said before, I felt that I was doing the right thing tending to a little girl. Compared to someone who called said girl "an accident". A commitment is towards her, but I don't support myself.

I didn't want children myself. Didn't want a family life because I pursue answers to common problems. Overtake them before anything happens.

No, maybe, maybe, I didn't know what to do with myself. I probably should've been fulfilled 5 or so years ago. Of course there must be challenges.

It's like I beat myself up for where I am.

Comments

[ragnarok-08.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

I know that feeling all too well, feeling aimless and lost.

[night-owl-9.livejournal.com]

I didn't know what to do with myself. - I feel the same a lot of the time.