doggiedynasty | Doggie Week: Tomorrow is August. Family Life

I like to think that I am doing the right thing.

Good, when it comes to supporting others, I am useful. When it comes to supporting myself, I am steps behind, perhaps not completely because of my own faults. There are things that I am ignorant about, and can't fully understand for some reason. I gain assurance easily when I read. I told myself that I'd get wiser and willing to learn, fill in whatever cavities I have in my head, when older.

I also told myself that this happens to other people and there is light at the tunnel's end.

But I am naturally afraid of time.

I think this is my fourth week babysitting. I feel like I'm being dragged down by watching a kid that's not mine and working too much. However, the latter is helpful for us...for now. It's not much; I can't afford a new car or an apartment's DP, and that makes me feel like trash. So what does this situation bring? Feeling a desperation for money and thinking ahead.

Again, light at the end of tunnel.

Trying to look at it in a way if my niece was my own kid, because frankly it's almost like that. If that's the case, I also want time for hobbies. She is so bossy, so pushy, and of course so curious (but that's not a problem) that she prevents me from even reading my books. I am usually up and down.

So what is going to happen? What do I need to do?

The usual day-to-day routine is
- Turn on children's channel. Won't watch for five mins
- Always asking to watch music videos on youtube (So if I did online classes?)
- Play with her gaming tablet
- Climbing on me
- Cleaning up toys; bringing them back, dragging the car, etc

Taxing. And she's fussy. I'm for someone else, but not for myself. Aside from that, a cute smart girl who likes being with me. That's enough to kick her parent in the head.