doggiedynasty: (You are my Hero)
[personal profile] doggiedynasty
Note to self: DO not, DO NOT write a blog entry while I'm rushing to leave somewhere.

Now it looks like I wasn't making much sense OR I missed something. My mindset at the time was to express as much as I could.

Indeed. I did take time off. When my niece wasn't around, I cleaned house; I worked and babysat so much that, IMO, I neglected any heavy cleaning at home. Yet, I cleaned my workplace virtually every morning. It didn't seem fair to me. Once my niece came back, the mental burden returned. I lose patience quicker than usual; time off is time off, and I can't get over the thoughts of babysitting and not getting paid enough.

So why was I upset about work and why did I almost want to quit? When I returned from my break, Labor day went away and there was already some quitters. Even this week; then I see new faces quickly.

I felt a little better a few days ago because most co-workers take the time of their day to tell me that I do a good job and that "I work hard". But half the team doesn't seem to be the same way? Am I just wasting time? Sure, after you're used to your position tediously, you tend to get lax.

Was I just working out of desperation to avoid being fired? I wanted to enjoy my job, but I was getting influenced by my co-workers' negative energy. SO I felt like I was in a shitty, uninspiring place because I didn't have much higher to shoot, and I worked just because I had to. That's a problem with working kids, and yet they succeed so well for some reason, getting jobs with better pay.

Sure, customer service can be a pain, but so is constantly complaining, not trying your best and thinking of consequences.

Two weeks at least, I felt like crap. That's just how I am. I try to maintain an calm and understanding, but aren't I fragile?

So with these thoughts building up, Katsuki-san's thoughts were a shock. Thus, coincidence.

"Love myself". I believed her, but I didn't think it was something easy to follow. I nearly cried. I can feel like a loser so easily, but she can look at others and say simple things so that they can live on a path to aim for something.

But it's so hard. What should I love? Ambition? Living differently? Being naive? Admitting mistakes?

Inoue Kazuhiko's final message had to do with "thoughts of dream" and "keyword"; I can't really figure out Seki Tomokazu's but may be "not useless"; Nozawa Masako is "try your best!"; I can't get Chiba Shigeru, Hirano Fumi or Kamiya Akira's yet; Furukawa Toshio is the NEXT and LAST GUEST!

...but Katsuki-san master of intuitive, no stress style was "growth" and "love" ("daisuki" and "ai"). My poor chest.
Anonymous( )Anonymous This account has disabled anonymous posting.
OpenID( )OpenID You can comment on this post while signed in with an account from many other sites, once you have confirmed your email address. Sign in using OpenID.
Account name:
If you don't have an account you can create one now.
HTML doesn't work in the subject.


Notice: This account is set to log the IP addresses of everyone who comments.
Links will be displayed as unclickable URLs to help prevent spam.


doggiedynasty: Doggie's crescent moon (Default)

September 2015

13 1415161718 19

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

  • Style: Deep Forest for Ciel by nornoriel

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Sep. 21st, 2017 01:35 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios