Feb. 4th, 2015

doggiedynasty: (The Ban Stare)
Ask YOUNG LINK: Never stop trying

An actress? A novelist? A hero? A manager? A game designer?

I'm still frustrated at the babysitting, and this thought occurred to me -- I am not aiming. The more I think about it, the more I feel I am just putting myself in one place most of the time, and being stuck 10 years behind. Someone with so much ambition, is easily inspired with a will to live, shouldn't have to work with so little result.

I'm often behind and I keep asking where I should go. Like I said before, I felt that I was doing the right thing tending to a little girl. Compared to someone who called said girl "an accident". A commitment is towards her, but I don't support myself.

I didn't want children myself. Didn't want a family life because I pursue answers to common problems. Overtake them before anything happens.

No, maybe, maybe, I didn't know what to do with myself. I probably should've been fulfilled 5 or so years ago. Of course there must be challenges.

It's like I beat myself up for where I am.

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September 2015

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